Back to work

After I had Samantha, I had 8 weeks off work for maternity leave. I came back to work for one day and then ended up with the gall bladder surgery.

Yesterday was my first day back since then and it went fine. I was kept busy and didn't really have much time to let it get to me.

This morning I have been at work for 20 minutes and I can feel the tightening in my chest and throat. I am going to cry. I just know it. I can't stand being away from her and it actually HURTS that I am not with her. I miss her so much already. I don't know how I am going to make it through the rest of the day, let alone the rest of the week. I keep telling myself that in 8 1/2 hours, I will be home and I can spend as much time with Samantha as I want... but 8 1/2 hours??? That is FOREVER away.

While I was off work I kept hearing from co-workers how busy it is here. Well... wrong. I spent a good chunk of yesterday just trying to come up with stuff to do. And this morning I am just waiting. Waiting for stuff to do. I can't take it. I really want to be able to quit my job and be a stay at home mom, but I just can't.

I desperately want Dustin to bring Samantha to visit me for lunch today, but I have the car seat in my car. So I just have to wait... only 8 1/2 hours til I walk into my house. 8 1/2 more hours til I get to cuddle with my precious baby girl.

Let's hope it goes fast.